


Those Cold Mojave Nights

by Elfyl



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout - Fandom, Fallout 1, Fallout 2, Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas, Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Alcohol, Canon LGBTQ Character, Canon LGBTQ Male Character, Drugs, Gay, Gay Sex, Gentle Sex, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBT, LGBTQ Character, M/M, NSFW, OC, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Poetic, Sex, Slow Burn, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Vomiting, mlm, transmasc oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfyl/pseuds/Elfyl
Summary: This fanfic involves my Lone Wanderer, Harper Garland, and follows him through his life in the Mojave wasteland after fleeing from the Capital wasteland. His hardships in his new home, and the friends and lovers that come along the way as he eventually gets put in the position as the leader of a revolution.(Not all ocs within this fic are mine, they are my friend's and when they come up I will address it!)I hope you all enjoy uwu!!!
Relationships: Arcade Gannon/Original Character, Male Courier/Arcade Gannon, OC/OC, Original Character/Original Character
Kudos: 11





	1. Begin the Beguine

Cold, desolate nights in the Mojave would be frightful for most, alas, while in the arms of a warm bodied lover and in a space where one calls home, that fear goes away. Sometimes it takes quite a while to achieve that comfort, especially in a world where one could see someone one day, then never see that person again.  
Harper, being the curious young man he is, got himself in several situations where the help of the Followers of the Apocalypse was needed. Testing out the functional attributes of random plants wasn’t the best idea, but in the name of science, a sense of awareness and caution flies out the window. This isn’t to say that Harper isn’t responsible, he most definitely is, but curiosity obviously gets the best of him. Besides getting himself nearly poisoned after trying to snort a Cazador venom sack, out of pure curiosity of its effects, cold nights without a man’s arms wrapped around him were some of the loneliest nights within his life. The Mojave was a whole new ball game for him; the discovery that sand could get in places that he didn’t know sand could get into, the uncomfortable nature of a flatter land and barely any structures, the loneliness of being in a new home. With a recently broken heart, many would get desperate, but that wasn’t the case for this quirky brunette. He saw what the Followers of the apocalypse were doing, and focused on helping others, instead of helping himself. This wasn’t the best way for Harper to cope of course but it was better than killing his liver with alcohol, flying high with jet, throwing himself into a pack of Deathclaws, et cetera.

-

It was about a month into Harper working with the Followers to not only get close to a researcher he had his eyes on, but for him to meet the first love he’d have in the Mojave.  
_Soda-Pop._


	2. Dear Hearts and Gentle People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper meets two people who become the most important people in his life.  
> Also in this chapter there's uhm quite a lot of v*miting being mentioned Soda is literally having his stomach pumped.

Harper was taking his nightly stroll along the streets of Freeside, glowing lights shining ever so softly onto his pale skin, the glow was faint, but it sure was magnificent to see, certainly more magnificent than the harsh blue lighting of the interior of a Brotherhood compound. The streets were littered with various pieces of rubble from the rundown buildings, shards of glass, the occasional rusted piece of metal that’s loaded with tetanus.  
This stroll of Harper’s was interrupted by the sight of the door to The Atomic Wrangler throwing itself open, and what came out of said bar was a short, muscular woman holding up a lanky, heavily intoxicated man up by the waist. The woman looked to the left, then to the right, spotting Harper, and recognizing his lab coat with the symbol of the Followers of the Apocalypse. 

She called out to him, “Hey you! Are you a doctor? Can you help out my friend here?”  
“Uh! Yes of course-” The doctor replied, a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

Harper soon went to the other side of the intoxicated man, helping the woman hold him up, starting to walk with them to the Old Mormon Fort. Stumbling and shuffling was the only thing that could be heard until the woman broke the silence.

  
“I’m Kara, This is Soda-Pop. You can just call him Soda though…”  
The doctor stumbled on his words as he spoke, “Oh- Uh- My name is- Harper. Harper Garland. Harper James Garland-”  
“Are you always that formal?” Kara inquired, looking forward. The young woman’s facial expression was neutral, as if she had to deal with Soda’s habits for awhile now.  
“No- No I try not to be- wait- uh- Let’s just get Soda to the fort-”  
“You don’t sound like you’re from these parts, Harper. You from a vault or somethin’? Is that why you’re so formal greetin’ yourself?”  
“I- No and yes, I’m from a vault, but how I address myself isn’t because of the life I had underground.”  
“Ah, got it.” 

Kara didn’t speak for the rest of the walk. She wasn’t the best at small talk due to her harsh, blunt, to-the-point tone that made Harper kind of feel as if he was in an interrogation. He only ever talks to a few other Followers, so any conversations with people outside of those he was comfortable with felt heavy, as if he was having his chest held down. Once the three of them were in the Old Mormon Fort, Harper led Kara and Soda to one of the medical tents, looking down at the intoxicated man with worry.  
The doctor brought out several supplies for the procedure he was about to perform, as Kara laid him down on an empty bed. Harper wrapped a bandana around his face to cover his nose and mouth before taking a closer look at his patient. The doctor sighed gently, analyzing Soda in the dim light within the tent, his anxiety spiking once he realized the stage of alcohol poisoning that the man was in. 

“How long has he been like this?” Harper asked, his voice panicked.  
“Not long, I’m usually able to stop him from drinkin’ before it gets _this_ bad.” 

Harper took a deep breath, injecting a dose of Med-x into Soda’s neck before getting a tube, putting his palm over the other side of the opening before inserting it down Soda’s throat carefully. Once the tube was down the young man’s esophagus, and in his stomach, the doctor looked over at Kara, “You should… step back- maybe?”  
As Harper suggested, she stepped back a few times until she was near the entrance to the tent, when she did so, Harper lifted his hand from the opening. Like when one holds an end of a straw with the opening shut, then dips it into a liquid to suck up a certain amount of liquid into the straw, the tube in this case acts like the straw, but instead of it being a refreshing drink, it’s the vomit of Soda, getting all over Harper’s shirt, pants, and shoes. When the vomiting stopped, Harper sighed once more, taking the tube out of Soda’s throat slowly, and putting him on his side before administering a dose of Fixer. Kara stood in shock at the situation, holding her hand over her mouth and nose to mask the rancid smell of vomit, on the other hand, Harper seemed unphased by this procedure. It wasn’t like he was having to handle drunkards and chem addicts on a day-to-day basis, all the time. He looked at Soda, then at Kara, “He’ll be alright… It may take him a few days to recover c-completely, but I’m sure he’ll be up in no time. I would suggest that you keep an eye on him since I’m uh- Covered in vomit? Also keep him on his side just in case he needs to- uhh- puke more! We don’t want him choking on his own vomit. Yeah?” The doctor let out a forced half-laugh before exiting the tent, getting out of his vomit-stained clothes and washing himself off with a wet towel once getting into his personal tent. 

  
The young man sat on his uncomfortable, squeaky bed in clean underwear and a plain white t-shirt. He laid in bed, took off his glasses, but tensed up once another doctor came into the tent. 

“Oh- I thought you’d be asleep by now. Sorry if I interrupted anything.” Said the doctor that just came in. 

Harper hummed, covering himself up with a blanket quickly, “Y-yeah I usually am. I was doing my nightly stroll, came across two people in need of my help, and like a follower should- I helped them out.” He laughed half-heartedly, still worried for Soda’s health, scared of the survival of that young man if he decided to drink in such a manner once more. However, Harper’s tone with this person sounded as if he was comfortable with him, comfortable enough to share a tent with him, sort of comfort. 

“If I’m being insulting, say so, but it smells- bad- in here-”  
“Oh I got vomited on by my patient, got into fresh clothes, don’t worry I wiped myself clean of any… stray vomit.” Harper quickly replied.  
“Odd yet charming way to put it. I’m kidding of course, sounds terrible. There are reasons why I’m a mere researcher.” The other doctor chuckled, then got to his own business.

The fellow that Harper shared a tent with was a tall blond man, with gorgeous green eyes hidden behind rectangular eyeglasses. Said doctor took off his spectacles, put them in his lab coat pocket, then hung his lab coat up on a coat hanger, taking off his clothes until he was just in his underwear. Once the blond was indecent, he got into bed. Harper was embarrassed to admit it, but he couldn’t help but watch the other man undress, his longing for another man’s touch plagued his mind with several intrusive thoughts, penetrating his consciousness and making him flustered, he always retreated his gaze before the other man could fully notice. However, the blond doctor knew of Harper’s tendency to stare, but didn’t bother telling him not to, it’s not like he wasn’t guilty of the same thing, _or guilty of the same thoughts_. Harper’s back was faced to the blond and it had been a few minutes of silence, but he could feel the green eyes of the other man piercing through him and into his heart. The brunette quickly sat up, his heart beating rapidly as he looked over at the blond doctor. 

The two made tense eye contact, eye contact that made Harper’s heart sink into his stomach so hard he felt like he’d swallowed an anchor. He gulped, still staring at the fellow doctor as he also sat up, his own blanket barley hugging his hips. They stared at one another for several short minutes that felt like many long hours before the blond broke the silence.

“If I’m going to be absolutely forward with you, what are you afraid of, _Harper_ ?”  
“I- What do you mean…?”  
“There’s a speck, a pretty large speck, of thought in my brain that gives me a reason to think that you’re uhm, what the locals may call it, _horny_ .” _This can’t be fucking real This can’t be fucking real-_ “Not the most attractive word coming from my mouth but, It is what it is.”  
Harper let out a squeak, turning his head forward towards the entrance to the tent, holding his hands in his lap. _Fuck he’s right- again is this real?_ , Harper thought to himself, feeling his ears get hot.  
“Arcade-” Harper bit his lip, then looked back over at the blond.  
“I’m being one-hundred percent serious Harper, what-” Arcade then stopped speaking, then looked down. “I’m lonely too, you know. It’s not like I don’t know how you feel-”  
“I’m not looking for a one night stand, you know, I’m not going to do something out of- out of being desperate when I genuinely _like_ a person!” Harper whisper-yelled, to not bring attention to anybody outside of their tent, a tinge of pain settled in the tone of his voice. 

Arcade was silently staring at the brunette once again, but slowly laid back down, staring up at the ceiling of the tent. Harper gulped a little, got out of bed, and sat on the edge of Arcade’s bed, Arcade slumping his head in the direction of Harper, looking up at him. 

“To answer your question, there’s a lot I’m afraid of. I don’t even know if you’re into _men like me_ but, that’s not- that’s not the only thing I’m afraid of. I fear that I’m just going to lose you, that I’m going to hurt your feelings somehow, that I might get _myself_ killed! I- I just don’t want to go through the pain again. You know?” Harper explains, “Also I don’t want the entirety of the fort to know we’re…”  
“I understand, no really, I do.” Arcade sat up again, slowly, his face close to Harper’s. “The path to recovery is a long road to travel down, and I don’t mind being by your side to help out when you need it.”  
Harper sighed gently before a small smile curled upon his lips “I’m here for you too…”, he said as he got off of Arcade’s bed. Although, before he could get too far, a pair of warm hands grabbed both sides of his waist. 

“I care about you, Harper.” the blond gently stated, rising up from his bed and standing close behind Harper, “Maybe we cou-"


	3. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper starts to fancy another young man by the name of Soda. (It gets pretty horny in this chapter sorry)

Suddenly, it was morning, and Harper had awoken from his slumber with the most annoying sense of dread and lust that a man could have, not to mention that he was drenched with sweat.  _ I guess that… wasn’t real, huh _ , He then looked over at the empty bed across from his own, sad that he couldn't say good morning to Arcade. He quickly stumbled out of bed, got into his cleanest set of clothes, did a few hygienically positive actions, and then grabbed his laundry basket. The young man quickly made his way to a station where there were buckets full of water to clean clothes out of, Harper being the first one there got to get to the clean buckets first. He soon started to wash off his clothes as best as he could, jumping at the sound of a young woman’s voice.

“Hey there, Harper? That’s your name right? Thanks for patchin’ up my friend. I really appreciate it. He’s actually like.. Talkin’ to me, he ain’t actin’ like he’s half dead if you catch my drift.”   
Harper perked up, “Oh! That’s actually good news, although I think he should stay in bed for a few days, again, so he doesn’t uhm… ruin his liver even more.”

“Of course doc, Imma make sure he stays in bed, I just wanted to thank you for what you did.”

Kara soon walked away, Harper feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. He always felt that way after helping people out, it was rewarding for him. When he got done scrubbing out all the puke from his clothes from the day before, he hung them up to dry, then made his way over to the medical tent Soda was in. Surprisingly, Kara wasn’t in there with the young man, and when Harper walked in Soda started to speak, “Kara you got that- Oh. Oh~ you must be the doctor that helped me… What’s your name, babycakes?”

Harper stared at Soda-Pop with wide eyes, trying to process the pet name for a moment before answering, “Harper James Garland-” 

This led the bed-ridden man to smirk, and bite his lip gently, “Well… Harper James Garland, maybe once I’m not stuck in bed I could ‘repay’ you for your services.” Soda said as smoothly as he could manage given his raspy voice.   
“Oh! My job is volunteer work, I don’t need to be repaid sir-” Harper replied, waving the idea off.   
Soda raised an eyebrow, “Oh no, I  _ insist  _ Doctor, you think I could pay you a visit sometime?” 

“A visit? What do you… Ohhhh oh ok. OH.” Harper’s face warmed up quite quickly once he finally caught up to what Soda-Pop meant. “You mean like  _ sex _ don’t you?”   
“Yeah, babycakes, I dont got any caps to tip ya, but I do have another tip I can give ya.”    
_ Woah he’s so smooth… _ “Sure! Wait- yeah! Uh… I actually share a tent with someone so, maybe we could meet up at the Atomic Wrangler or something-”   
“Spicy, as if we are two married fellows having an affair of the ages, I like the idea baby, just come to me when I’m up on two legs and we can head to the Atomic Wrangler wh-”

Kara stepped into the tent, having heard most of the last thing Soda said, glaring down at him. “You better not be thinkin’ about destroyin’ your damned liver, Soda. There’s enough people that die before their thirties out here.” the young woman said protectively, handing Soda a bottle of clean water. She put her hands on her hips and looked over at Harper, immediately noticing his blush. She then darted her eyes back to Soda, “Please tell me you didn’t scare the doctor with your down right annoyin’ flirtations.” Soda turned his nose up a little in response, “Well he doesn’t seem to mind, he even brought up the idea of having an affair over at the Atomic Wrangler, so excuse you Kara. Sorry I get ass and you don’t-” Kara glared at Soda, causing him to stop mid-sentence and sip on his water. 

The relationship between Soda and Kara was obviously platonic, and their teasing and tone with one another was done as if they were siblings. For all Harper knew, they could be siblings.    
Harper stood to the side for a moment, quite awkwardly before making his way over to Soda, standing by his bed. “May I… give you a check up? Make sure you’re not going to uh- die or something?” Harper asked, putting his hands in his pockets. Kara, after hearing what Harper said, left the tent chuckling as she zipped up the tent opening behind her. Harper’s chest felt a bit tight being left alone with Soda-Pop, a lump of spit in his throat formed and he forced it down as best as he could. 

“Soda, right? Uh- you’re going to be fine, I got a lot of the alcohol you had consumed last night out of your stomach and that’s why you’re even awake right now. Uh- I don’t want to uh… be desperate ok? I don’t wanna just have a bunch of one night stands to forget about the inevitability that someone I love might die again and I-” Harper was now sitting on a chair he pulled up to the medical bed. Cutting Harper off, Soda gently pressed his pointer finger vertically upon Harper’s lips. “Shhh babycakes, it’s ok. I’ll give you a good time, you won’t have to worry ‘bout nothing okay?” His hand then cupped Harper’s face gently, his thumb rubbing softly against the doctor’s cheek. “You’ll be ok… Okay?”

The brunette’s eyes were widened once more out of surprise, and his body was obviously tensed up; His fists were clenched, his knees were bouncing up and down, and he was biting his lip gently.   
Soda let out a soft chuckle, “Hey, baby you’re nervous, wanna talk about it?”   
“You’re just- really- smooth? You’re smooth, and I feel all- jumbly inside- I don’t know!”

“Do you need some relief?”   
“‘Relief?”

“Yeah, like… something else to focus on.”

“I usually become less tense when I read!”

“Ah alright, do that for awhile then babycakes, I’ll be fine. And if anything happens I’ll just tell Kara to holler for you… okay?”

Harper stared silently at Soda-Pop, feeling such odd urges that he held back like a rabid mongrel on a chain linked leash, his pent up sexual frustration was so close from breaking out of it’s chains and out in the open. He nodded, got up from his chair, and looked down as he exited the tent, scurrying on over to his own tent. He plopped himself onto his bed, he stared up at the ceiling of the tent. 

_ But what about your feelings for Arcade, Harper? How’s that going to play out? You can’t just ignore him and how he makes you feel forever you know- I know that! I know… I know I should say something but maybe this Soda guy might be nice to get to know- What if he’s just trying to use you? Oh shut up he’s not- he can’t, if I-  _

The young man’s thoughts tired him out, eventually causing him to zone out, then drift into a nap. He never took naps, he had a routine to always get to. After an hour or so passed, the young man shot up, running out of his tent frantically as if he had taken a inhale of Jet, to get to the supply barracks to take note of all of the things the Followers had, were running out of, or needed. It was what he did every day without hesitation, he needed to do it, it comforted him. Harper hadn’t been able to settle down enough to have a routine since he was in the vault, he missed the protective steel walls of the place he used to call home. Even if his home vault had it’s issues, it will always be remembered dearly. It reminded him of how his much older brother took care of him once his mom passed, how his dad was supportive of him and his brother, how much fun he had hanging out with his childhood friend  _ Amata _ . Gosh, he hadn’t thought about Amata in so long, he only hoped that she was doing good as the new overseer of their vault. It had been a year or so since he even talked to Amata, to his own brother- Dante, to his father, voices that Harper missed the sound of so dearly. A part of the young man wailed in pain, wanting to pack up and go back East to the Capital wasteland, but he knew he couldn’t go back to face the people and memories he sought to leave behind.

The doctor’s thoughts were interrupted by the presence of another follower,  _ Julie Farkas _ . Harper nervously shifted at the woman’s arrival into the supply barracks, she gave Harper an affirming nod, “Good morning, Doctor Garland, have you seen Arcade anywhere?” she asked the young man. Blush creeped onto Harper’s face from ear to ear at the mention of the blond man, resulting in him averting his gaze onto the clipboard, making himself look busy. “Uh- He was out of bed when I woke up this morning, he might be out… Honestly Julie, I don’t know.” He replied. Julie nodded again, and left the supply barracks quickly, most likely making her way out of the Fort to go find the aforementioned doctor. Once Harper was finished with his supply listings, he made a separate list to give to any mercenary willing to volunteer to retrieve such items.    
  


He left the barracks, and was making his way to a research tent when Kara stopped him in his tracks. “Hey you, Harper, is there anythin’ I could… do around here to help out?” The young woman asked, putting her hands in her pockets. Harper looked down at his clipboard and pulled the list of supplies needed from it, handing it out to Kara. “If you can- we need these items- if you can only find a few or even one that probably would be fine-!” The maroon haired woman, with a blue bandana wrapped around her head like a headband, took the list and looked at it. “I never took the Followers as folks that’d get themselves into battles-” she looked up at Harper sternly. Harper shook his head, “No- No it’s not like that- We get quite a few mercenaries that pass through, and guns and ammo would be good things to be able to hand out to or give to people who decide to help us- If that makes sense.” he scratched the back of his neck, looking to the side. Kara hummed, then nodded, “It makes sense.” she then folded up the list, and put it in her shirt pocket, waving Harper off as she started to head out the gates into the fort.

_ Soda-Pop. _

Harper turned around, and made his way to Soda’s medical tent, walking in on him doing something quite  _ indecent _ , and looking to the side immediately. “O-Oh my I’m sorry-” the doctor apologized, which brought out a laugh from the other male as he covered his crotch with his blanket. “It’s alright babycakes, I was just finishing up. Thinking about you~” Soda purred, sitting up and looking over at Harper. The brunette kept his eyes away from Soda’s, “Haha… funny uhm-” He then locked eyes with Soda, who was staring intensely at him, with one eyebrow cocked up. “If you zip up the tent, baby, I’d love to give you a ride.” This comment made Harper’s bones feel weak, he felt like he was a building starting to rumble from a fractured foundation. “I would l-love to Soda, b-but uhm… What if someone walks in?” Harper states, starting to zip up the tent. “You can face me, Harper, if anybody walks in I’ll use my sly tongue to get them to go away while you hide your pretty little face in my neck, that sound good to you baby?” Soda asked, smirking at Harper as he stood upright. Harper took a moment to think before shaking his head, “I don’t want to… put too much pressure on your abdomen with my weight, but I can uh- help in a different way sir.” Harper purred, the mongrel was coming loose from his chains. The doctor took off his coat, setting it on a table within the small medical tent, and sat on his knees at the end of Soda’s bed. Harper scooted himself forward, and pulled down the blanket from Soda’s crotch, looking up at him as he bent down slowly, inching his mouth closer and closer to the other man’s erect endowment. 

“Babycakes! I didn’t know you’d look so cute preparing to suck my-” Soda then gulped down his words as a warm, wet feeling wrapped around him. “Shit-” he hissed in pleasure as Harper started to bob his head up and down. Soda’s fingers slithered into Harper’s brown locks, tugging on them ever so slightly, letting out pitiful moans and whimpers until pulling Harper’s head up slowly from himself with one hand and jacking himself off with another. A loud “ah!” erupted from Soda once he had come, his back arching a bit as he let go of Harper’s hair. Harper blinked a few times, his face and glasses littered with liquid specks on his face- spit and Soda’s cum dripping from the edge of his bottom lip.

“Aw Shit-” Harper cursed a little, taking off his glasses trying to wipe them off with his shirt. Soda panted gently for a moment, looking up at the ceiling of the tent before sitting up slowly. Harper looked up from his glasses that were soon dropped to the floor as Soda pinned Harper down onto the mattress by the wrists, “Your eyes are wonderful baby-” he then stroked the burn scar that covered the area around Harper’s left eye and cheek, kissing it ever so gently before moving his lips to Harper’s, letting go of his wrists and holding his waist. Harper held Soda by the collarbones, pulling away from the kiss. 

“Soda, before we go any further can I ask you something?” The doctor asked, nervousness plaguing his tone. His eyes were a bit watery as if the question he was going to ask was going to be hard for him to muster. Soda gulped, looking down at Harper, “Y-yeah? What’s up? Did I do something wrong?” The young man on top bit his lip, visibly worried if he had overstepped a boundary. “You don’t mind- having er- intercourse with trans men right? I- make sure to ask just in case someo-” Soda cut Harper off with a slight chuckle, stroking the burns on Harper’s face gently, “No worries here, Baby, you’re a man. Whoever had treated you like you aren’t a man doesn’t deserve you.”

Harper looked at Soda with surprise, “I wasn’t expecting an answer like that, I mean people have their pref-preferences- It’s always a nerve wracking question though.” Harper turned his head to the side, but shot his head back towards Soda once the other man started moving down his own body. “Soda? Oh!” The brunette let out a squeak as his pants were unbuttoned and swiftly pulled down, along with his underwear. The doctor let out a pleasant laughter that soon morphed into warm moans once Soda started to return the favor he had done for him.


	4. Blue Moon, You Saw Me Standing Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships in the wasteland are usually short-lived, but Harper and Soda may last.  
> ( mentions of implied abuse, and it does get kinda horny again sorry jhbdsjhbdjhab )

Harper left the tent sweaty, his neck and collarbones littered with hickeys that were, luckily, able to be covered by his button down and lab coat. It was noon now, and he made his way over to his dried off clothes. His mind wandered off, thinking about how Soda handled him, how Soda talked to him, how Soda- a complete stranger- made him feel like he was standing in a field of poppies and petunias during a nice spring day, as if he knew what those flowers looked or smelled like, he just read a ton of love poetry so his mind interpreted the feeling like so. Just the thought about having a man to hold him through the night once again made his heart swell, and his face calm. This could be the start of something stable for him.

A part of him still longed for Arcade, but Soda-Pop was bold, exciting, new. The two, once Soda was feeling physically better, met up at The Atomic Wrangler one night as planned. After renting a room, they made their way up to it. Harper plopped himself down on the bed, bouncing up and down a little on the end of it before commenting, “This is much nicer than the beds over at the Old Mormon Fort… huh?” Harper looked up at the nicely dressed man before him as he spoke, analyzing his dapper outfit. Soda had on a neatly ironed and taken care of tux, with a black body and red trim, along with touches of white here and there, an outfit this nice was hard to come by, but it was obvious that Soda had a knack for taking care of his possessions. The lanky young man fiddled with a radio, cursing at the inanimate object under his breath, nodding a moment after Harper’s analysis of the bed. Once he got the radio playing a station he actually enjoyed, and that wasn’t just static, he turned to face Harper, a gentle smirk on his face as the gentle jazz of _Blue Moon_ , sung by Frank Sinatra filled the quiet space of the rented out room.  
Soda-Pop, as he rolled his hips to the old world blues, held out his hand to Harper, bowing himself slightly towards the brunette, his face pretty level with the other man’s, “Care to dance?” he asked sweetly, cocking his head to the right ever so slightly, like how a dog does when it’s confused, but this head tilt wasn’t to look confused it was to look cute, innocent, welcoming. Harper quickly took Soda’s hand, loving how warm yet weathered his hands were. He was suddenly brought into a warm embrace by Soda, his face contorted into one of surprise at the sudden pull closer. A heat was sinking from Harper’s stomach, a slow burn- one may add. Soda held the other young man’s hips securely, gently helping him swing along to the tempo of the tune, humming along with the song.  
The warm hue given off by the over two hundred year old lamps stationed loyally to their bedside tables, partners, they come in a matching pair that fit with one another, filled the dim room with a cozy feeling. Couples don’t always come with the complete symmetry as a pair of lamps, but there’s a sense of balance when one meets a person that makes them feel safe within. Like two daffodil seeds dancing in the wind, Harper and Soda started to gently waltz within the room, Harper caught on to the movements of the other man quite quickly. This impressed Soda, and only proved their harmony with one another, _in this moment_ . Harper’s chest was pushed up against Soda’s, and he could feel the taller man’s heartbeat, two lonely hearts in sync with one another. The curly, black hair of Soda’s tickled Harper’s neck as he leaned down, pushing his soft, warm lips onto the brunette’s neck. Their dancing soon took itself to bed, the swaying of hips taking a new meaning, and tender kisses and playful bites started to be exchanged. After both of them had finished a round or two of the _sensuous tango_ , Soda gently kissed all over the bare chest of Harper, having kept on a tank top the whole time. The tank top was the only piece of clothing Soda kept on, which striked a certain curiosity from Harper. The brunette tiredly tugged the tank top up to return the kisses but was immediately pushed down, a gasp emitting from his lips, “No… no... Let me continue, babycakes.” Soda pleaded as Harper sat up from under him, leaning up against the headboard, his hands gently placed in his own lap. “No. Why would you push me down like that? It kind of hurt-” 

Soda pulled away and sat on his calves, his gaze averting to one of the lamps before his eyes turned back to Harper. Soda was tense, the young man was not only hesitant to give an answer, but he was hesitant to explain his brashness. A pressure welled up in his chest, and so much noise was echoing within Soda, so much can only be held in for so long. Although, instead of explaining his situation, the young man’s eyes got hot with salty wells of tears forming at the edge of his bottom eyelids. Tears gently trickled down the man’s cheeks, the wells in his eyes not able to hold the influx of water, and a gentle sob came out of his lips. Usually, for Soda, a sexual encounter such as this usually were dances in the dark, shadows being able to cover up marks and scars left by men he wanted to put behind him, reducing himself and whomever he was with into playful shadows laughing in each other's breath. That was what was comfortable, but the loyally settled lamps betrayed and penetrated the comfortable factor, keeping their bodies lit, dimly lit, but still lit. What was odd was that Soda didn’t want the lights off for once, he wanted to see, he wanted to be seen.

Harper let out a gentle gasp, his crippling empathy shattering him, reducing him to a crying mess, staring woefully at Soda. The brunette was practically frozen, and it felt as if something was choking him to stay quiet. He couldn’t tell what was wrong, or if he did something wrong, but seeing someone crying always struck a chord with him- especially when it just made him feel useless for not being able to comfort the person crying appropriately.The two men sat and cried for a few minutes, Soda’s sobs becoming louder until he eventually buried his face into Harper’s neck, hugging him tightly. 

“It's a lot, babycakes, I’d rather not get into it, ok?” Soda said, pulling his head up and looking into Harper’s eyes. The doctor averted his gaze for a moment before returning a teary eyed look to Soda, cupping his face and nodding gently. “I understand.” Harper replied, leaning forward ever so slightly as he nuzzled Soda’s cheek. Soda soon reached over to one of the lamps, turning it off before taking Harper by the hips, flipping them over so Harper would be straddled in his lap. He rubbed the doctor’s hips up and down, giving him a sweet, gentle look. “If you get bored of Freeside, you can always travel with Kara and I, baby. She and I do odd jobs around here, retrieve salvage or some scrap metal for friends, stuff like that- kind of boring but, such a caring and smart doctor such as you would be a nice addition to our relatively small possy.” Soda offered, still glossy-eyed from crying.

Harper took a moment to answer, and cleared his throat, adjusting himself a little in Soda’s lap, “Soda I’d love to, however I have a job, I have people that need me.”

“Not to sound like a pre-war cheesy rom-com but _I_ need you. You’re an atom bomb baby! Blowing me up and making my heart go weak from radiation! Ugh- bad metaphor, but I just, Kara and I get into quite a few sticky situations trying to get supplies for people or settlements, not exactly what I prefer to do to be honest but- it gives us at least something to live for and keep doing. It gets kind of lonely, also Kara and I could use a new teammate when we do go out.” Soda went on, his eyebrows curling up, worry lines creasing his forehead. Harper took another pause to think about how to answer, would he risk his comfort? His routine? His new home? He sighed gently, kissing Soda on the cheek and shaking his head. “Sorry Soda, I’d rather stay here, and… maybe you two could do supply runs for people in Freeside. My home is here, and I’d be too uncomfortable being away from here for too long, my home is not on the range of the Mojave, and I don’t think it ever will be.”  
Soda nodded slowly, “I- my home is here too… I may have worded my proposal wrong? What I meant was that we will still be here, living here, Kara and I just travel sometimes and a doctor would be a good thing to have with us.” he explained, giving Harper a smirk. Harper blushed in embarrassment for misinterpreting the information, “Oh! Oh- sorry… then sure!” he nervously chuckled, “Hah uh- sorry for not getting what you meant at first. Anyways…”  
Soda hummed in curiosity as he watched Harper reach over to the other lamp and turning it off before leaning forward whispering into Soda’s ear, “Uh… can we go to bed after… one more… round?” The other man chuckled in response, aiming himself and thrusting upwards. “Yessir~” Soda purred, Harper only being able to respond in a pleasant, long moan.  
  
Morning came around, and Soda sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes before looking down at Harper, whose back was to him. Soda leaned down, creeping his arms around Harper and massaging his chest gently. “Goodmorning,” he muttered into the brunette’s ear. Harper smiled, opening his eyes slowly and looking over at Soda. “Hail and well met, Soda.” he looked down at his hand. “-a bit grabby aren’t you?” he moved his partner’s hand from his chest, sitting up and getting out of bed. He let out a quiet giggle at all the marks Soda left on him, then looked back at him as he turned on the lamp nearest to him. Soda hissed a little at the light shining in his eyes, and eventually got out of bed as well, stretching, his back to Harper. Once he put his glasses on, the doctor’s gaze turned to his partner, and soon dropped down to the back of his thighs, and to his arms, his heart sinking when he noticed various oval burn scars that littered Soda’s skin. He quickly looked down, then made his way to his clothes that were in a small pile near his side of the rented bed, picked them up, then laid them out on the bed before getting each garment on one by one.

As Soda occupied himself with stretching, he wasn’t quick enough to notice Harper’s wandering gaze, and began doing the same thing as him. Once the two men were dressed, and once Soda convinced Harper that he didn’t need to make the bed, they left the establishment, Soda kissing Harper’s hand goodbye before they parted ways. The doctor making his way to the Fort, and the greaser making his way to the School of Impersonation, the place that had been his home for years at this point. Kara and him shared a room within the building, which was also home to a group by the name of _The Kings_ , who are a gang of Elvis impersonators that protected Freeside from folks like the New California Republic, since they decided to be fairly imperialistic towards the locals. Soda-Pop walked in through the front doors of the School of Impersonation, nodding cooly at his fellow king compadres, and making his way into the main stage room. He fixed up his tie, and sat at one of the tables closest to the stage where a gang member was practicing his singing. Soda looked over at the man he sat at the table with, a very Elvis looking man in a cream colored suit, with a cybernetic dog laying down next to his chair, this man’s name was simply _The King_ , but Soda commonly referred to him as… “Pops! Whats shakin’?” Soda inquired, his voice a bit lowered as to not distract the king member on stage. The much older, fatherly figure to Soda gave him a warm half-smile, looking over at him. “Just listenin’ to the boys get ready for the show tonight, you enterin’ right sonny? It ain’t a competition, just to keep the morality up as always.” The King asked, which immediately made Soda sit upright, he had totally forgotten about the show, he hadn’t even started practicing for it. “Uh- I chipped my name in, I’ll be ready by then- yeah-” Soda got up quickly, making his chair squeal against the tiled floor, repeating “sorry” over and over before pushing his seat in and scurrying out the stage room and running to his and Kara’s room.  
When Soda bursted in, Kara jumped a little, nicking her hand with the knife she was sharpening, “What's the damn deal, Soda?! Coulda been less abrupt- I almost sliced my fuckin’ hand…” She then sucked on the cut, wiping it off on her pants once she was done. Soda held onto his hair, “Kara! I have that show tonight and I- UGH I’m such a fucking idiot! I totally forgo-”  
“Maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with that doc you wouldn’t be caught in this pickle eh?” Kara asked slyly, smirking down at her knife as she checked out the sharpness of it. Soda huffed a bit, closing the door. “I gotta get out of these clothes-” Soda muttered, walking over to the dresser on his side of the room and undressing completely, folding up his suit and putting it to the side to wash later before getting into some fresher clothes. Kara, being like a sister to him, was much more comfortable around her, however she also _knew_ about the situations that he’d been in, and the past he had. Kara sighed gently, standing up from her mattress on the floor that she was seated on, and put the knife in its holster that was strapped to her thigh. The maroon haired woman stared over at Soda once he was done getting dressed, she crossed her arms. “Do you think you’ll be gettin’ closer to the doc?”

“I think so, I mean I did invite him to travel with us, darling.”  
“Oh? Nice tactical choice, however he might be a liability.”  
“He’ll be fine, and even if we have to hold ourselves up in a fight it’s still nice to have a doctor when we do supply runs- Anyways I gotta get my hair trimmed, my mustache styled, and practice for the day until the show- Can you…”  
Kara cut Soda off, “-invite your lil boyfriend? Sure Bro, can do.” The much shorter woman laughed, as the two of them made their way out of their room, going their separate ways.


	5. Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night at one of The King's shows, love thick in the air between Harper and Soda, a blooming trio of friends, What more can one ask of a chapter? (This chapter is SFW!!)

Flickering fluorescent lights beamed various colors on the walls and floor of the stage room. It was close to midnight, and a good crowd of Freeside citizens had their dancing shoes on- ready to get footloose on the dance floor. 

Once a fellow king’s member was finished with his show, it was Soda-Pop’s time to shine. He was dressed in a plain white tee, and black pants with a big brown belt hugging his hips, his hair was slicked back- but stray strands of it denied the gel’s control, deviating from the direction that the gel was slicked in. He got up on stage, ready and confident, although when he saw Harper and Kara from the entrance of the room he froze for a moment, forgetting almost every word to the song he was oh-so-prepared to sing. Once the band got to the second measure into the song, he snapped out of the trance as fast as he could, beginning to play it cool, gyrating his hips to the beat of the song as if he  _ meant _ to forget the whole thing. As the words started to flow through him, he recited them to the next time signature. 

His voice was as preserved, articulated, and well kept as a fine wine. “- _ You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you. You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much _ -” It was smooth, and everyone started to sway to the song, synchronized like a room of clocks ticking at the same time. Kara chuckled gently at the song choice, rummaging through the pockets of her cargo pants for a cigarette and lighter, then leaning against the wall close to the entrance of the stage room. She looked over at Harper, flicking her cigarette lighter open and burning the tip of the cancer stick, “Get closer to the stage cowboy, he’s singin’ bout you, you know…” she said with a sly smirk as she gently stuck the cig in between her lips. Harper looked over at her, confusion on his face before silently making the connection, “How do you know that? Did he plan for me to be here or something?”   
Kara raised an eyebrow, “Of course he did, he asked me to get you here. Why else would he be singin’ that disgustingly cheesy song? Now get up there, It’ll make him all giddy inside. I know it.” She pulled the cig out, blowing out a small cloud of smoke.   
“Oh...Would pushing through a crowd be rude…?”   
“Not if you say ‘scuse me’, doc.”   
“Got it, I’ll try to wave when I get up close ok?”   
Kara snickered, “Ok cowboy.”

  
Harper, with extreme hesitancy, started to make his way through the crowd, edging closer and closer to the stage. Soda continued to sing his eyes following the movement of the young man, “- _ Pardon the way that I stare… _ ” he accidentally nudged someone, saying sorry, “- _ There’s nothing else to compare… _ ” he bumped into a table, of course, “- _ The sight of you leaves me weak _ …” he got stuck behind a close knit group of people, “- _ There are no words left to speak… _ ” He finally got close to the stage, after bumping into a few more people of course, “- _ But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real… _ ”    
Soda kneeled down, microphone in hand as he got close to where Harper stood near the stage, “- _ You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you _ .” The greaser sang, the band erupting in a short instrumental as he paused his singing, pulling Harper up on stage and grabbing him by the waist. 

The slow, jazzy beginning to the song was now upbeat, and the pace matched the nervous heartbeat of the brunette. Soda looked into Harper’s eyes as he started to sing the chorus, “ _ I love you, baby! and if it's quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely night… _ ” Soda kept his eyes locked on Harper’s as he continued to sing, and began to dance with him on stage. Harper was awkward at first, but eventually got comfortable, starting to follow Soda’s moves. Dancing and cheering erupted from the crowd, and from across the room of bouncing bodies, Kara stared at the stage with a smile on her face. Kara was aware of what troubles Soda-Pop had with lovers in the past, and seeing him with someone that made him happy and not like a drained husk of himself, made her happy. The harmony of the two men, how they swung their hips, waved their arms side to side, kicked their legs up, it felt concrete and stable like the foundation of a pre-war skyscraper, it felt right in the moment. The desperateness that Harper had changed, he didn’t feel desperate or guilty for being with someone again, he felt safe. He felt protected in the other man’s presence- his gaze- his arms. All Harper wanted to do was to get closer to Soda, and that want was reciprocated heavily by the other man. Once Soda’s number was over, the two men got off stage with a roar of applause from the crowd. Harper gently held onto Soda’s warm, sweaty hand, beaming a smile up at the greaser. 

“That was fun, Soda.” He sweetly said, his fingers braiding into Soda’s. Soda nodded, gazing down at Harper until they approached Kara, who was now seated at a table, having finished her cigarette and crumpled it into the ashtray. 

Kara raised an eyebrow upon seeing the couple, “Well you two seemed to have fun up there, I’m gettin’ a headache from all the people talkin’, so if ya’ll wanna go up to the room with me we could… hang out? Unless you don’t wanna.” Kara asked, getting up out of the chair and pushing it in, giving a small sigh.   
“Oh! That would be fun, I’m not much of a fan of… crowds anyways.” Harper replied, then looking over to Soda, who nodded at him, “If that’s what you wanna do babycakes! Kara, what do you think you’ll wanna do though?” he responded, turning his gaze to her.   
“I was thinkin’ we could play some card games, talk- I’d like to get to know you a bit more, Harper. Since you’re gonna be datin’ my bro.” She laughed a little. Harper stood still, pretty embarrassed at the woman’s comment. Kara gestured for Harper and Soda to follow her as she headed out of the room. 

Once the trio got to their destination, Soda, Kara, and Harper were seated in a circle in the middle of Soda and Kara’s room. The night was filled with exchanged laughter and short stories, Harper being quite the oversharer in what he’d been through, but oddly enough when the young man shared the more intense tales, he didn’t shed a tear recalling various traumatic events; the death of his father, the death of a lover, or leaving his brother behind in the Capital wasteland. It wasn’t like he didn’t feel bad, it was just that he already left a river of tears behind him, talking about it nowadays helped him come to terms with it all… even if it pained him to talk about it. Even if it tugged at his heart so bad, making the noise and clutter within him become more dense, it felt better to get it out than let it fester within him. Harper was quick to trust, but always had a haunch for whom to trust, his walls were easy to go over but, sometimes resistance will occur when pressured. The young man didn’t feel that pressure, nobody in the room felt pressured, no laughs were forced, nothing that had been emoted by any of the young adults felt disingenuous in nature. It was sweet, comfortable, warm… Something none of them had felt in awhile.


	6. Stars of The Midnight Range

Nice days in the Mojave were rare, and today certainly wasn’t one of them. It had been a month or so since the King’s show, and the trio were on their way to an old hospital to scavenge for supplies, and possibly any pre-war medical data they could find. 

As the rundown hospital came into the sight of Harper, Kara, and Soda, the trio approached it quickly, each of them trying to avoid the warm calling of their fatigue. They were pretty far from Freeside, but not too far, and it being a hot desert day drained the energy from each of them quickly, and being under the cool shade of a relatively kept together building relieved them of their heat exhaustion.    
The hospital was dimly lit, only the gentle glows of flickering wall-mounted lights and old vending machines curing the rooms of their darkness. Harper rummaged through any and all containers for any useful supplies, while Soda waited by him, and Kara looked around for any signs of traps or, a likely possibility, raiders. Harper took a fine combing through a few of the rooms in the front of the building for practically anything useful, his curiosity surrounded around the building soon led him into thinking about something else, information that he and others like him could use from a medical terminal. The young man’s goal shifted quickly from trying to gather supplies, to getting any data he could on various medical procedures that the followers would need. Specific medical procedures. Kara was still making sure no traps were set up, but noticed signs of wasteland raiders by the funky graffiti, weird gore art, and cages. She knew some sort of traps  _ had _ to be in here somewhere, and would try her best to disarm them when necessary. She was not too far away from Harp and Soda, who were still rummaging through a lot of stuff, mainly trash and dirt. Harper continued onward with Soda following closely behind him. 

The hospital’s interior was cold, dark, and a slight echo of the trio’s footsteps bounced against the crumbly, cracked walls of the decrepit building. Various old, rusted, metal beds with rotted out mattresses littered the hallways, some knocked over, some with the fragments of skeletal remains of pre-war patients with fragments of nurses and doctors’ remains nearby said beds, some of the beds stained with mold and blood, it was the pinnacle of a deceased world brought upon by nuclear annihilation. This small trip reminded Harper of his days out east, travelling with two men he loved. He sighed at the thought, brushing it off quite quickly. He didn’t like to dwell on all that pain he had welled up inside of him.    
The world before him soon came back to him, he had made his way into another room, a research room from what he assumed. He looked at various terminals, checking the terminals to see if any were working, most of their screens were shattered, burnt out, or barely functioning with little to no information being displayed. This lack of data was most likely a result of a corrupted system, not anything Harper could fix or do anything about- sadly.

Soda waited a bit in the doorway, watching Kara walk into another room before he went into the room Harper was in, coming up behind him when he was examining a terminal. The brunette squeaked when Soda grabbed him by the hips, hugging him and pressing himself against Harper, swaying a little.

“You’re cute Harpy…”   
“I’m not a ‘harpy’, Soda-Pop, a harpy is a half-human half-bird creature from Greco-Roman mythology, usually a woman is depicted in the half-human part.”   
“You don’t gotta smarts your way out of a pet name, Harp.”   
“Nor am I an instrument, originating from ancient Egypt, with a wooden frame with various sized strings to give off the vibration of a particular pitch.”

Soda laughed, he always liked the knowledge that Harper wasn’t afraid to share, even if he didn’t understand it at all he knew it made Harper happy talking about it. His head leaned down a little, kissing the other young man on the neck before pulling away, looking at a few decayed posters hung up on the research room’s walls, his interesting peaking at the few movie posters that were hung up, analyzing them, wishing that he could be an immortalized figure on a measly print, an image that would last longer than himself. He liked the thought of an immortal image of his handsome face, plastered on walls in offices and restaurants, showcased on the outsides of theatres and bars, he loved the thought, and loved eyes being on him, made him feel important.    
A call from Kara in the other room could be heard, and the couple left quickly to go to their friend.    
Kara gestured to a refrigerator filled with various medical supplies, a large, proud smile on her face. “I guess I won another contest~”   
Harper shook his head, “This isn’t a contest, but this!” The doctor then approached the unpowered fridge, analyzing the various chems, bloodpacks, and supplies for sterilizing wounds proudly waited to be held in useful hands, and be used for what they were meant to be used for. Harper began to retrieve the supplies, but was interrupted by Kara, his arm being held down by her as she gestured to some sort of installment of a trap that would go off once the fridge was closed again. “Hold on-” she stated, getting up on the counter next to the fridge and looking behind the fridge, which was moved away from the wall to allow for a trap to be set up behind it. She took out and flicked open a pocket knife, cutting the wires off a hooked up C-4 plastic explosive, and a stick of dynamite. 

“There’s raiders here… who else would want something like this so protected…” She stated as she set the C-4 and dynamite next to her, quickly descending from where she was on the counter, looking up at Harper. “Now it should be as safe as sleepin’ kittens, if they still existed in these parts that is. I cut all the wires that would have made that whole procedure all... messy-like.”   
“How did you learn how to… uh… do all that, Kara?” The doctor asked politely, starting to retrieve the medical supplies.   
“Uhm…” Kara looked over at Soda for a moment, before nodding slowly. “The NCR. I was an explosives expert for a bit due to my lack o’ nerves and a keen sense of danger. I kept calm in situations where I coulda gotten my hands blown to shreds.”   
Harper nodded, “That’s an amazing talent, do you still associate yourself with the uhm…” Harper hesitated, looking to the side, “NCR?”   
“No. Though I do got a soft spot for them, they lost that understandin’ of right and wrong,” Kara articulately stated, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued to speak, “they saved me, taught me how t’live in these parts, but I had to leave if I ever wanted to make a change here in the Mojave, breakin’ off from them is my best bet.”   
Harper nodded, having known Kara for a month or so he noticed how insightful the young woman was, how thought out and planned she took each step, how much the greater good meant to her was comfortable, endearing, her plentiful passion for justice was familiar, which made the doctor comfortable in her presence. 

The noise was sudden, and bounced around the room, the sound of a body thumping to the floor, and the desperate gasps of two friends rushing the body of their friend out of the hospital trailed outside, and were left behind as they approached the gates of Freeside.


	7. All Shook Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay tension gets HOT.  
> TW: surgery, blood

Soda waited outside of a medical tent, and inside, Kara was being treated for a gunshot wound. Harper was shaky, but not enough to prevent him from being able to do the procedure, Arcade was only there because Harper asked for him to be there.    
While in the hospital, Kara had accidentally set off a rigged shotgun that went through her side, Harper, with his insistence, wrapped Soda’s overshirt around Kara’s abdomen to stop the bleeding. The two men struggled to get Kara back to Freeside, it only being a miracle that the adrenaline within Harper and Soda was able to manage the short trip back to Freeside.

Arcade unwrapped the shirt from Kara’s body, tossing it to the side as he examined the wound for any worrisome signs of uncontrollable internal or external bleeding,  peritoneum inflammation, or any evidence of there being fragments of the bullet within. From what he perceived, there was a clean shot through the young woman’s abdomen with additional evidence that the shotgun was far enough to have not only a clean shot through, but leave various superficial injuries around the affected area. Arcade quickly started to man the materials to successfully remove any fragments of the bullet, while Harper focused on the almost profusely bleeding injury, the two doctors diligently worked, hands gently brushing against one another in haste, sticky due to a layer of blood. The blond started picking out any fragments left behind by the shotgun’s bullet, and afterwards, the brunette across from him started to put direct pressure on the main puncture from the bullet with a clean cloth in hand. Once the blood slowed and the gash became more visible, he began to clean the small wounds, then the main wound, getting out bandages and materials to apply occlusive dressing. He applied some home-made aloe vera gel to the laceration before taping on a bandage to the entrance of the puncture, then to Kara’s back, where the bullet exited through. Afterwards, he applied a larger bandage wrapped around the woman’s abdomen to prevent the smaller bandages from moving too much. 

They were done, Kara was stable. Upon finishing the surgery, Harper immediately crumbled to the ground in tears, cupping his face with his hands, leaving large bloody smudges on his face when he tried to wipe his tears away. Arcade paused for a moment, happy that him and Harper were able to save the young woman, although he expected Harper to be more enthusiastic. He slowly got down next to the brunette, sitting in front of him as he continued to cry. He took Harper’s hands gently into his own, rubbing his gummed thumbs in a circular motion on the dorsal sides of his hands. He didn’t say a word, but the pressure on the young man’s shoulders weakened ever so quickly, however, he still avoided eye contact. This tenderness was quickly interrupted by Soda, peeking into the tent. Arcade swiftly let go of Harper’s hands, and slowly got up.    
“Soda, could you watch Kara for a moment while Harper and I get washed off? If she starts twitching, spazzing out, et cetera, yell- call for us or another doctor.”   
The greaser nodded, moving to stand next to Kara’s steadily breathing body, looking down at it with sorrow. “She’s gonna be ok right?”   
Arcade nodded, watching Harper leave the tent at a hesitant pace, he turned his head back to Soda, “Yes. She’s fine for now. Again- call for a doctor if she starts seizing.”

The two doctors awkwardly bathed in the same room, washing off all the blood from Kara, their own sweat, and dirt with wet rags and dipping them in clean water buckets. They were the only two in the small, recently built in, bath tent- where one would bring two buckets with them, one for clean water, and the other to wash the dirty rag in. Harper gently washed his face, hands, and body, taking short glances over at Arcade’s body, the blond reciprocated the glances when Harper wasn’t looking, and the two caught one another in the act, making direct, intense eye contact. Harper retreated his gaze slowly, gulping as Arcade made his way next to him. 

_ I have a boyfriend, Stop thinking about him stop looking at him- I have a boyfriend I have _ -

Arcade gently held Harper’s hand, giving it a tiny squeeze before looking down at Harper, his eyes soft, tender, comforting. This was one of few times Arcade had welled up the guts to actually initiate something mildly romantic with Harper, times that lasted for a short period of time but- they always made Harper flustered. These pent up feelings couldn’t be held in anymore, it had been months of tourture dealing with feelings of two men at once. He couldn’t just up and suggest polyamory to a possessive man like Soda-Pop. He loved Soda-Pop, he loved Arcade. Two hearts practically tore his own in half,and Harper bit his lip as he looked up at Arcade with pleading eyes. 

“May I kiss you…?” The brunette asked, his lip slowly releasing from the grip his teeth had on it.    
Arcade’s eyes widened in surprise, “S-sure but… what about...?”   
“I-” Harper looked down, “I have been pushing my feelings about you down- I uh… want to get them out.” He said bluntly, without much cohesiveness or thought. He didn’t wanna think about things anymore- he just wanted to _ do _ . Harper wrapped his arms around Arcade’s waist gently, Arcade dipping down towards Harper’s face. Their lips touched, so gently, tenderly.    
Afterwards, Harper had conflicting gut feelings, but the larger part of his gut felt guilty, so guilty. It was only a kiss.  _ Thats it. _


	8. Ain't That a Kick in the Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( author's note: sorry this chapter took a bit, it's not my best one, but I hope it's good. )

About a week passed since the kiss, Kara was still in bed resting most of the time- Soda still being by her side most days, Harper wasn’t in his shared tent with Arcade as of late, avoiding sleeping in his own bed. Harper kept thinking, kept fucking thinking.    
Gentle hands crept under the cloth of shirts one night, disloyalty to Soda had taken ahold of Harper, his neediness was being unattended, so on that night- being only slightly under the influence, he approached Arcade with sensuous intent. Later, they rented a room at the Tops! casino.    
Arcade, walking about a foot apart from Harper as they proceeded towards the Strip, spoke up, “I know you’re… not in the best mindset considering you’re- er-”   
Harper crossed his arms at the comment, it’s not like Arcade was  _ wrong _ , he had a few that evening, and he was only stumbling  _ a little _ . The brunette shrugged, “Uhh… I just want to have control over something for once- and- and I hold in s-so much that… that I uh… I  _ want _ this.” He stated, which was followed with Arcade giving him a perplexed yet worried gaze.    
The two doctors soon proceeded through the Strip’s gates with the appropriate vouchers, now in silence as they made their way to the Tops!.

_ This was a mistake, a mistake! A terrible fucking mistake _ , Harper thought, laying in bed the morning after, his head throbbing and his skin feeling heavy. He slowly turned away from Arcade, hugging himself, not knowing what to say or do- the young man could barely move. He felt like the static on the radio when a station lost it’s connection, and one of the loyally stationed lamps on the bedside tables went out. The bulb bursted. This occurrence caused Harper to squeak, and retreat back away from it. He stared at it, sighed, then got out of bed.    
The young man was obviously disheveled as he entered the tent in which Kara was in, his eyes mellowed and grey as he observed his friend. Soda-Pop squinted a bit at Harper, getting up out of a chair he had set up by Kara’s bed, and went over to Harper, rubbing his shoulders. 

“Babydolll… you don’t look like you’re doing too hot.” The singer inquired, looking at Harper with extreme worry. The doctor sighed a little, avoiding eye contact, not speaking, and even if he wasn’t able to speak, he gently started to wrap his arms around Soda’s waist, nuzzling his face into the other man’s chest. A gentle hum emitted from his soft yet scarred-from-biting-them-too-much lips.   
Soda looked down at the man in his arms, petting his head. “Is… something wrong?” he asked the doctor, who only responded with a gentle shake of his head- face still buried in Soda’s chest. The singer sighed, then nodded slowly. This moment lasted a few minutes, until the creaking of a medical bed broke the silence, and the now-awake Kara stared at the couple.    
She cocked an eyebrow up, looking between the two men before trying her best to speak, “Hi there yall… dont get  _ too _ touchy eh?” she laughed a little, wincing a little from the gunshot wound that was still  _ very  _ tender and  _ very  _ sensitive.

Harper pulled away slowly, waving a bit at Kara, “Ah, hey. You’ve been really in and out…” he then approached the woman, standing by her bed and looking down at her bandages. “... so I haven’t been able to talk to you very much one-on-one. Doctor-patient sorta thing…”   
“That's okay doc, Soda’s been keepin’ an eye on me…” She gave Soda a discrete fist bump, before looking back at Harper, who has focused on her bandages.    
“I'm going to take a closer look, this may sting a little.” Harper walked over to a side table, taking out a pair of scissors and a magnifying glass, walking back over. “Ok- I lied, it may sting more than a little, just stay still.” He then cut the bandages with delicate ease, and once the gauze was pulled off from the wound, the injury was exposed to the cold touch of air, resulting in a small squeak of pain from Kara. 

The doctor brought his magnifying glass to the gunshot, looking or any remaining fragments, signs of infection, generally looking for anything concerning. He pulled away after a moment, “You’re good. Let me redress that wound.”

And as Harper did so, Soda caught a glance of the young man’s neck- spotting faint hickeys,  _ knowing _ that  _ he _ wasn’t the one that put those there. He decided to keep quiet for now, watching his partner work. Once the couple left the tent, Harper’s body language came across as closed and unapproachable, Soda didn’t bother paying attention to that, however he did pay attention to the bruises, stopping Harper in his tracks. He held the young man by the shoulder, using his other hand to pull his hair up, staring. 

“Who.”   
Harper stared to the side, frowning.    
“Who did this?” Soda pressed.   
The doctor shook his head, “I- uh…” he couldn’t speak, staring down at the ground at this point. 

The loyal lamp, endlessly flickering, suddenly went out, leaving it’s partner glowing alone.


	9. Cry Me a River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: the end has some self harm/alcoholism.  
> If you want to avoid it, stop reading at "Harper sat there, crying, thinking"
> 
> Jasper Steele belongs to my friend Abbeeyeyeyye

The sounds of bickering doves, glass shattering as hearts started breaking. Quiet became loud, loud became deafening, and this pressure and intensity of various feelings led Harper to stuff a few stealth boys in his backpack along with various medical supplies and food, strap a combat knife to his thigh, hook his plasma defender to his hip, and head out into the desert without telling a soul, seeping into dangerous territories only to go to an old Followers shack nearby a deathclaw breeding ground. Getting there was a hassle, but the stealth boys certainly helped the young man slither around and away from any dangers that posed a threat. He opened the shack, a small creak emitting from the old door. The inside of this place was unorganized, messy, and various piles of abandoned things lingered. 

Harper took the time to organize everything for the next few days, fixing anything that was broken with any materials he could find around the shack, even finding a few weapons that he eventually tinkered with- getting them working again and maybe better functioning than they were before. He imagined that he could sell these to wanderers or merchants that came on through the area, maybe get supplies when needed, or just utilize them for when he needs to pack a punch. He turned on the radio of his Pip-Boy, sweeping the floors of the shack after organizing and dusting off everything, brushing the small debris out the front door, closing it once he was done. The young man, having found an old lock, had bolted it to the door, sliding it into lock before heading to bed. His head was loud, full of thoughts and feelings, he didn't want to be here… but he didn’t want to go back. He had made a mess of things, it was his fault, he was the impulsive, touch-starved, asshole who didn’t know who he loved and who he lusted for; Who was more, and who was just a friend. Harper laid down on one of the beds he had tidied up during the past few days, staring up at the ceiling, hands clasped on top one another. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes. Many weeks had passed, and Harper had taken care of travellers coming through in this area; letting them rest, giving them food, and if they were interested- giving them some intimate company- if they asked. 

One evening, a courier came in, messy auburn beard, roguishly attractive yet worn out, he was taller than Harper, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow as the doctor came into sight. The young man glanced over at one of the beds he tidied up in mind for any patients, a wounded traveller resting quietly, before looking up at the older man before him, nervous. 

“Hello there… sir… anything you need help with?” Harper asked.   
“You’re that Harper fella aren’t you?”    
“Y-yes… why?”  _ Fuck am I getting a reputation. _   
“ ‘Cade told me to come find your ass, make sure you’re okay- and you seem  _ just _ fine so I’ll just take my leave…”   
Harper furrowed his eyebrows, “Why did… he… ask?”    
The older man, about to head out the door, turned around to face Harper, “Hell if I know, Hell if I damn well give a shit, he and I got finished foolin’ around and he asked me to find you.”   
“ _ Fooling around? _ ”   
“Yeah? Kid do you not… know what I mean?”   
“No I know what you mean, Sir.”   
Silence filled the empty air for a moment, an intense, heavy gaze being exchanged. Harper’s nose twitched, “What’s your name?”   
The courier raised an eyebrow, “What’s it to ya?”   
“What. Is. Your. Name.”   
“Geez kid- fine- it’s Jasper Steele.”   
“Well,  _ Mister Steele _ , I hope you know Arcade and I have feelings for eachother, why would _ he  _ fool around with  _ you _ .” Harper’s voice was obviously annoyed, hurt, angry.   
“He told me nothin’ bout you, sorry.”   
The doctor clenched his fists, glaring at Jasper, “That can’t be true.” he muttered, gripping onto his own shirt before sitting down. Jasper didn’t seem to worry much about how upset the young man was, merely staring down at him with that same cocked up eyebrow.    
“Kid-”   
“Don’t call me  _ kid _ , sir. I’m not a fucking child.”   
“Well,  _ asshole _ , sorry I didn’t ask about ‘Cade’s fuckin’ love life before I took him to pound town, he didn’t seem to worried about _ you _ until after.” the older man barked, his arms crossed. “Be angry at the sender, not the damn messenger.”    
Harper kept quiet at the statement, his eyebrows still furrowed in frustration, his hands still clenched in anger, he stood back up for a moment, stepping over to Jasper, standing right on his toes he was so close, “Keep your hands off him.”   
“Maybe you should tell  _ him _ to keep his ass in his pants, not my call to stay away.”   
“Fuck you.”   
Jasper blinked slowly, clearly annoyed as he shoved Harper away a little, “Uh huh… yeah sure.” 

Harper then used his clenched fist to try and hit Jasper in the face, only to be stopped by Jasper grabbing his wrist, and pinning him down to the desk. “Do that again if you want to get hit back,  _ Asshole _ .” Jasper growled, immediately pulling away as Harper leaned on the table, before sliding down, hugging his legs as he sat on the floor. The young man emitted nothing, before a gentle sob could be heard coming from him. Jasper stared down, blankly, at the doctor, not caring. “I’ll take my damn leave then…” the older man muttered, leaving the shack to head off back to the Mormon Fort. 

Harper sat there, crying, thinking.

Another day, another week, another month. Harper was tired, alone in the shack, pulling out a bottle of absinthe he found while cleaning out the place, taking swigs as if it was water- barely flinching. He laughed, and then cried, laughed, then took some med-x, cried some more, then took out a switchblade, dragging it against his thighs, over and over. Red droplets pooled at the edges of the cuts, spreading out once tears made contact, the red swirling with the salty water. The drunken young man, eyes flared up from crying, stared down at his own mutilation, only feeling the negative effects after passing out and waking up the next morning. He hissed in pain as he woke up, staring at what he had done. He slowly but surely made his way to his medical supplies, cleaning his wounds and wrapping them in bandages, sobbing nearly the whole time, the whole duration of time it took he could barely even see his wounds, his cuts. He hadn’t done this since he was a teenager, and it never got  _ this _ bad either. He sighed, limping a little as he walked, seeing the switchblade he had used the night before, silently cleaning it off. 


	10. Soft Place in my Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: alcohol and drug use

Harper’s hair had grown out, now- it was a mane at this point. It had been  _ months _ since Jasper visited him in his shack, and even more months since he’s talked to anybody residing at the fort. As he walked through the open gates of the Old Mormon Fort, everyone could see his messy, bedraggled, wrangled and tangled up hair was messily put up in a bun, a bun in which was falling apart ever so noticeably, just like his tired eyes. Kara, who looked as if she had seen a ghost as Harper walked in, rushed up to him- holding him by the shoulders- having to reach up considering the doctor was quite tall. The young woman was very visibly upset- angry even, however she did not yell, scream, slap Harper even though she’d do such a thing with Soda if she was angry enough with something he had done, she hugged him, holding him in a tight embrace. Harper could feel pools of tears dripping onto and soaking into his jumpsuit, resulting in small tear stains being present as Kara pulled away. 

“Where were ya?” Kara exclaimed, however her tone was quiet, the need to know what had happened was dire.   
“A little south, in an old follower’s shack- near that deathclaw cave.”   
“Near the- why in the world were you there?”   
“It was quite the vacation, Kara.”   
“Ain’t soundin’ like one.”

Harper sighed gently, a small frown tugging at his lips as he turned towards his tent, “I’m just glad to be home, and…  _ not alone. _ ” he opened the flap and walked in only to see  _ Jasper _ , of all people, in bed with  _ Arcade _ . Harper immediately did a 180 on his heel, turning out and started walking out of his tent, quite visibly aggravated as he threw his bag towards his side of the shared tent, and now was fuming as he made his way to the Atomic Wrangler, his fists balled.  _ This wasn’t what I wanted to come back to _ , he thought to himself, entering the bar and taking out an old mentats tin in which stored several bottle caps, enough for a bottle of Vodka that he quickly started to take shots from, his brain getting ever so foggy and his eyesight getting ever so blurry. He took off his glasses, setting them on the bar as he began laughing. He was barely able to make his way back to his tent, which didn’t have Jasper in it,  _ luckily _ , however- a worried Arcade sat, his face buried in his hands before he pulled his face up at the sound of Harper walking in, staring at the disheveled mess of a man that he was at that point. The blond got up quite quickly, he had been crying- maybe out of guilt, maybe at how Harper appeared to be so apparently ill, and stepped over to Harper, flinching at the stench of alcohol.    
“Harper…” Arcade muttered, reaching for his hands before having them be swiftly swatted away by the younger man. Harper’s nose twitched, and his eyebrows furrowed, stepping away from Arcade and walking past him- stumbling past him. Both followers stood in intense silence, until the silence was broken by the sound of sobs emitting from the brunette, who crumbled to the floor with his face in his hands. Arcade stood above him, worriedly wondering what to do before Harper started to whimper out something, “I’ll need my stomach pumped.”   
This caused Arcade to once again flinch, his eyes immediately starting to widen, “Holy shit Harper what did you- take?”    
“Drank a whole bottle of vodka, popped half a tin of mentats.”   
Arcade froze, before swiftly picking up Harper and bringing him to a medical tent, all Harper could hear before passing out was various people yelling for others, specifically Kara and Arcade’s voices could be heard the most. 

The sunlight invading from the small holes from the medical tent’s roof shined onto Harper’s eyelids, causing them to slowly open. Everything was blurry for a moment, then it became a little more clear, he silently stared at the ceiling- listening to the gentle snores of Arcade, who was seated next to his medical bed, gently holding his hand. Harper could barely move, but he delicately curled his fingers around Arcade’s hand, which made the blond tense up- and eventually wake up. 

“Harper?”   
  
The brunette turned his head slowly towards Arcade, tired eyes looking up at him before closing, he fell asleep, and the next time he became conscious, Soda and Kara were at the foot of his bed, staring at him worriedly. Kara perked up once she noticed that Harper was awake.   
  
“My golly! You’re awake…” she exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes as she moved over by the left of Harper’s bed. Soda made his way to the other side, “Glad to see you up, Doll. You took a harder hit to the ground than I did… are you doing alright…?”   
Harper didn’t speak, merely nodded.   
Kara shifted a little, making her visibly uncomfortable that Harper wasn’t speaking, Soda’s face showed this feeling too, this worried yet unsettled emotion. 

“Angelcakes, you doin’ okay?”

Harper shook his head slowly.

“Of course he’s not okay Soda!”   
“Well its always good to ask before assuming…” 

Harper coughed a little, before closing his eyes once again. He was tired, weak. He would have a harder time recovering from this compared to most people. People became mere shapes and voices to him, his mental state getting worse in this state of limbo between consciousness. He felt as if he was on a cloud for the week and a half he spent in bed, only getting up to use the restroom- and even then he needed help from Julie to do so. His body was just giving up completely, however, his last couple days in bed he was actually up, glasses on, reading.    
Arcade walked in, surprised to see the young man like this- especially since he’s been completely bedridden for the past week. Harper looked up from his book, and smiled, actually  _ smiled _ for the first time in months. 

“Hey.” he greeted weakly, tucking a bookmark where he was, closing the book, and setting it gently on his lap. He patted the room on the bed next to him, and Arcade quickly plopped himself down next to him, smiling at him. Silence was shared between the two, until Harper started to speak, “I’m… sorry for doing this. I can’t explain my actions, or why I did them- but everything got too much… so I left- uh… I’m getting therapy sessions from Usanagi, to help with…” he trailed off, frowning.   
Arcade gave the brunette a gentle smile, “I can't describe how much guilt I feel, however, seeing you awake again… truly awake… I’m sorry too. I can’t explain my actions either, but- I’m sorry if it seemed like I played you like a deck of cards, I didn’t mean for you to be so hurt…”

Harper’s eyebrows rose, “N-no, this- this isn’t on you.” he sat up completely, holding Arcade’s face, “I’m having issues. And a lot of the things that occurred were out of my control, so I isolated and became self destructive.” he explained. Arcade looked Harper in the eyes for a moment, before leaning in and hugging the other man tenderly, yet securely. 

The two hugged in silence.


End file.
